Its Called Brain Train

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First of all I want to clarify that I am not talking about women empowerment. God only knows that there are more then enough people already talking about it…Below I am mentioning an old or should I say an ancient Indian saying..

        “Dhor, Ganwar, Shoodra, Pashu, Nari
Sakal Tadan Ke Adhikari”

Meaning…Foolish, Barbarian, Scheduled caste, Animals and Women (First Line), these all deserve to be tortured (second Line). Now now, don’t get alarmed, as its not something thats happening right now as far as I can see. People became very progressive long back and are trying to treat everyone and everything in a much better way compared to older times.

I can even prove it. When I was young my father used to repeat this saying in a funny way. He would say,”Once a man told this saying to a woman but the woman was very smart. She said in return that I am Nari here and the rest four are you. So who deserve more thrashing?” Then my father added, “slowly men stopped saying this as it was evidently clear that they were in more danger than all the other the four mentioned in the saying. We both laughed a lot on this.

But still, there are few things which we absorb our entire life mostly, from our society without even knowing that we are actually doing so. I call it ‘Brain Train’. Small and big things continuously happen around us. In our family, in our neighbourhood and in our work place. People say and do many things everyday. Although we feel that we are a unique person and there is no one like us, still we follow.

I don’t know why I want to mention it here but once I was talking to one of my old relative. She got married at a very young age of 17. Without any knowledge of basically anything (as there was no internet back then). Her husband, although loved her very much but still there were times when he showed her how bad he can be. My old relative belonged to a not so well to do family and her husband made her feel really bad about this many times. She was only sister of 8 brothers and they all were very fond of her and she was of them. Whenever she had to listen to something bad about her family, her sorrow was heart breaking.

Point is, he knew about her family before marriage. Then why did he hurt her so badly for something which he accepted in the beginning of their relationship. My guess is, because of ‘Brain Train’. Both men and women in society are deeply train to hold an imaginary place in their households and in their society also. Men  (mostly) are self declared supreme boss of the house, doesn’t matter what actual power or eligibility they hold to get that kind of position and women are their followers. If a women try to defy men in any way, she would be shown her place right away. And the worst part is that she will accept it happily as she had been trained to do so her entire life.

Few days back I was listening to the radio. A very young working girl, speaking fluently in many languages on a public platform, was asking a love mentor to provide her with a solution of her problem. The problem was like this – she promised her In-Laws before marriage that she will give up non-veg food after marriage but she wasn’t able to do so as she was a die hard fan of all type of meat. Again, I am not talking about women empowerment here but why was she asked to do the same in the first place and the bigger question here is, why did she agree? What she was discussing that day – she ate chicken in her office and her MIL found a bone in her tiffin. Weird. She was hassled enough to look for an advice on a public platform from a person completely unknown to her.

Wow, thats why they say that a human’s brain is the most powerful tool of them all. My old relative comes from an older generation and this girl comes from a younger generation but the point to be noticed here is, they both had been gone through the same brain training for their entire life. That’s how the result was same.

When I started writing this story I was unsure of the ending, I still am. So, I will leave it by putting down only one thing. Even a tiger dances on two legs when its training tune plays loudly and the ring master commands with a hunter in hand.

 

I Love Doing Nothing..

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As I introspect and think what I like doing most with my time, I always end up with one thought….nothing. Yes..my answer would be nothing. Just sitting idle in any corner where the ambience is pleasant and no one is disturbing me until I welcome the intrusion. I am one of those most lucky people who realised very early what they want to do or in my case, not to do with their life. My parents realised it too as they tried very hard to mould me into a more socially fit person for my entire time with them.

I was born and brought up in a very conservative small town of north india, being a girl was a nuisance enough, being a person completely useless without any meaningful (social) aspirations in life at all, was a cherry on the top. Although everyone around me tried to teach me one or the other thing to make my life better(without giving it a thought either I wanted it or not), the only teacher from whom I learned most was the journey of my life. I don’t know about anyone else but I have to call it a miracle how a person’s perspective about almost everything changes with growing age and different experiences of facing new things and meeting new people over the time period. Exposing yourself to a new place is also very nutritious soul food. You live a little bit more lively when your soul is well fed.

Nowadays, happiness comes to me easily because finally, I have successfully implemented my all time funda to my practical life. I do nothing, and if I do something its comes from my heart and not from my brain or from anyone else’s brain for a change.  With some practice I have become better at controlling my fears and insecurities by restricting my conscience to ponder over my past or my future.When I look around I find that these are the most troubling part of most people’s life. Most people are happy and content today but they have got great memory and when it comes to bad memories their brain works like any super computer. They are great planners as well. They plan so many things and as per one and only universal truth – ‘control is only an illusion‘. Naturally, they have no control how things turn up with time. It makes them sad when they find it difficult to achieve all of their goals in a particular time period also decided by them only.

My funda- don’t go after anything….just wait. Whatever is out there in the universe for you, will come and get you. Meanwhile do nothing and if you have to do, do what you like. Few people might find it a very lame excuse to stay lazy but it completely works for me. Now I just walk the path with my desired speed, taking as many breaks as I like (which are sometimes very long BTW) and everything else happens on its own. Truly, its not about reaching the destination but walking the path.

Here is the last thing. Stop worrying and planning and thinking and preparing. Just start WALKING..at the same time doing nothing.

 

Tomorrow – Fact or Illusion?

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In a routine office life one works around 9 hours everyday and prepares for a better tomorrow in the office for the rest of the day.

Ramya was not any exception. Like everyday, Ramya finished her work in office and reached home with a so many task needs to be finished list banging her head like a hammer is banging a wall. Relaxing after office means brewing tea, folding clothes and deciding the menu for the dinner at the same time.

She took a long breath and approached her son’s room. She opened the door and found her son Rony, sitting comfortably in his favourite rocking chair and laughing loudly as he read a book and looked completely absorbed in it.

Ramya asked him about his day without entering the room. He just nodded cheerfully.

Ramya was about to leave the room when he looked up sharply with a thoughtful expression on his face and spoke, “Mom! you look really tired. Is everything ok?”

After divorce, Ramya saw drastic changes in her son. The most noticeable one was, that her eleven year old son suddenly became very caring. Somehow, he always knew when she was in a bad shape. Before her divorce it never happened.

Anyways, she smiled weakly,” It was long day in office. I have submitted my presentation but I am worried about tomorrow. If anything goes wrong I could loose my job” she rubbed her forehead and replied.

He nodded his head like a real mature person and spoke philosophically, “I understand completely. Last year during my football practice sessions I always felt very tensed. I always used to think what will happen tomorrow. What if I won’t be able to play well. And Mom you won’t believe… it didn’t matter how hard I tried I was never happy and confident. One day my coach Mr. Pal, he is super cool by the way, came to me. He asked me why I always look hassled. I told him about my problem. He explained few things to me and everything became brighter. Do you want to know what he said?”

Ramya nodded with an absent minded as she was still thinking about her presentation.

“He asked me one question, “Rony you are always fleeing about tomorrow but have you ever seen it?

Ramya looked lost but Rony went on anyway,”I jumped and said,Of course! Tomorrow is tomorrow.”

Then Mr. Pal asked again, “Yes.. but have you actually been in a tomorrow?”

I looked at him dumbfounded so Mr.Pal explained further,”See, its very simple. You  can talk about tomorrow by saying that you will do this, it will happen tomorrow and this will not happen tomorrow..right? But does it really work like that? Does that tomorrow ever come?”

I was still completely blank.

“Today is 10th October and tomorrow is 11th October. Can you live in 11th October today?”

“I shook my head without even knowing that I was doing so.” Rony said.

“And tell me when you will get up in the morning on 11th October what day would it be for you?” Will it be 10th October or will it be 11th October?

I thought with a long pause and said,”Obviously it will be 11th October.”

“And what will be the day to you? On 10th October, 11th October is tomorrow, but when you wake up in the morning on 11th October, for you its today only. Right.”

“He gave me few seconds to comprehend the logic…” Ramya looked at Rony sharply on his use of  nice vocabulary. Rony smiled,”Nowadays! I worry less and read more.”

“So back to the main topic, I understood after some time and relied to Mr. Pal, “Actually, you are right sir. It doesn’t matter what we think or do or do not do, there is no tomorrow for any of us. There is only today.”

“And…?” Mr. Pal asked promptly…When I didn’t answer he said as he got up..”and you are wasting the time of your life for something which is not even there. Aren’t you son?”

Before leaving Mr. Pal patted my head lovingly and said,”Doing hard work today and having fun in your life is the only doable thing. Try to follow my advice and see how everything takes a turn in your favour.”

As Rony finished his small but very effective talk to his coach he looked back at Ramya, “After that day I never thought about the result of my work. I just give my hundred percent in everything and leave it. Because of this new practice I have so much of free time now. I read, I spend time with my friends and I even sing. But thats for me only. So, the point is, if you have done your best in your presentation then leave it. Whatever will happen will happen. Don’t worry. You will see how much extra time you have at your disposal if you are not thinking about tomorrow. And Mom don’t waste any more time as you have to do everything today only as there is no tomorrow.”

Ramya just kept looking at her son as if she has lost all her senses. He was absolutely right. There was nothing she could about any of this except worrying. This was taking up all her time and nothing was going to change.

She stood up with a smile on her face and asked Rony, “Pizza for dinner?”

Rony Jumped from his chair and hugged his mother,” From today I am going to live my life like you. As we can clearly see that between the two of us, you are more sorted and joyful. Its better that I follow you and not the other way around.”

Ramya hugged him tightly, gave him a kiss and told him to come outside after 30 minutes as the pizza will arrive.

As she went to bed that night, the prayed to god,”Dear god! I want to thank you for such a wonderful life. Thank you.”

There were no demands and no questions in her prayers that night. God also slept little bit more cheerfully as his children did the same.